My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold
~ Tapestry by Carole King ~
At some point early in life, we are handed a blank tapestry. With that tapestry, we start weaving in various threads … special moments in time.
Some threads are pristine and beautifully formed … our first kiss/love, romance, children, traveling or milestones achieved. Some threads are frayed and messy … breaking up, financial crisis, moving away or losing those close to us.
Either way, they are being added to our life’s tapestry.
Additionally, the tapestry has two sides, a front side and a back side. The back side is filled with jumbled up messy knots and such randomness you would never figure out what the whole picture could even be.
Yet the other side? The texture, colors, and patterns are astonishingly beautiful … the picture is clear and mesmerizing.
I have taken many a journey in my almost 56 trips around the sun. Some of those journeys have woven threads chaotic and sloppy, others are filled with harmony and grace … yet all go into that tapestry making up my life.
Over the past few years (or more), I’ve been living mostly in that scattered jangled state … lacking direction and focus, getting lost in overwhelm. Most of this is due to rising caregiving responsibilities for my mother and raising a teenager as a single mom.
I really tried to hold it all together. After all, ringing in my ears was, “I am woman, hear me roar!” and “I will survive.”
Being a coach, I had PLENTY of skills and tools at my disposal to help me get clear and move forward.
Um, not so much.
In February of 2017, my life took a dramatic turn. My mother became seriously ill, hospitalized for a week. I was in the final months of massage training when my caregiving duties became close to a 24/7 adventure. Slowly, during the next few months as the caregiving demands increased, my sanity decreased. I could see myself riding down the road of “Losing It”, big time. One huge indicator … I had the BIGGEST knockdown drag out argument with my sister (whom I adore and love to my core). We NEVER fight like that. Something had to be done. I was going to end up burned out, or worse.
This was a turning point.
The only answer I could come up with was to run away from life. Yeah, no. That wouldn’t work. I would have to find some other way because I knew a course correction was in order.
Mid-summer of 2017 I had a blessed moment of clarity. What I needed was to find ME again. She was there, I knew she was. She was just hidden under blankets of emotional clutter and responsibilities. These would need to be stripped away layer upon layer until I could find her again.
Whenever I am looking for an answer of any kind, my default action is to do research. With “life” challenges, I search for others in similar situations and learn how they either worked their way out of it or are on their way to doing so.
Locating a support system (one-on-one or a group) has usually been my starting point and key for me moving forward. In this case, my target was to escape overwhelm.
My investigation first led me to all sorts of care-giving support groups. However, I quickly found myself in shame meltdown. My life (and my duties) were nowhere near what some were dealing with. I started telling myself, “Buck up.” “You don’t have it that bad.” “Get over it.”
As you can imagine, that didn’t work.
Yet, what I did learn during my short time in those groups was a similar thread of advice. Repeatedly they said, “Make time for yourself.” “Simplify everything you can.” and “Ask for and/or find support.”
I began asking myself what I could do to simplify my life. Somehow, I knew the answer would have to focus on ME first, then my home, and finally my business. Fortunately, I discovered something fitting my criteria and went to work.
What started out as an attempt to escape caregiving overwhelm turned into a year of my becoming utterly clear on who I was.
During this self-reflective time, I discovered numerous things about myself. One standout was I had an unhealthy fear of getting older. This fear was mostly wrapped up in not having any sort of direction in which to live out the third act of my own life-play. I had been so focused on caregiving and had hidden my head in the sand regarding my own future welfare. I knew that had to change and pronto.
I got really clear about polishing and refining my various skills in order to move forward. I asked and received family support and was able to finish massage school (studying for my test now). I applied the learnings from my essential oils and herbology certification to my family and myself which strengthened my knowledge of their usage and application. As time trickled on and I gained momentum, I furthered my education by consuming copious amounts of books and various courses supporting my recovery from overwhelm and boosting my spirits. The year spent honing was dramatic in regaining my sanity.
A surprising development from this year was discovering it was time to adjust my chosen calling. Being a nutritional coach (with a bit of life coaching thrown in) was no longer speaking deep into my heart and soul. In all fairness and now only in retrospect this fork in the road had begun long before my sabbatical. The break allowed my head to catch up to my heart.
As layer after layer of overwhelm lifted, to my delight and with excitement, my life’s third act and purpose became crystal clear. I have found ME again and in doing so, my aspiration is to help others live a wholehearted life through teaching, coaching and writing.
Where does that leave us?
I wanted to share my story for several reasons.
Most importantly, I know I’m not unique. My hope is my story might give someone else hope and let them know they are not alone. Each of us have our own complications, struggles and complexities as we deal with and move into the third stage of our lives. Overwhelm seems to be a driving emotion in today’s world and so many of us are searching for a way out.
My own struggles and finding my way through, have led me to an abundant treasure trove. The bounty is full of numerous tools, techniques and skills to honor this next stage of life. I have been able to draw together the many threads amassed over time and weave them into a brilliant, dazzling and dare I say exquisite tapestry that is and will be my life.
As I embrace my own entrance into my third act and transition into a Wholehearted Living Coach, my hope is you will come along for the ride. Over the next few months, I’ll be working hard on development and sharing with you as these evolve. I have learned the supreme benefit of taking small steps consistently and these lead to seemingly miraculous results.
My first baby step was this contact letting you know a revolution is afoot! Second, I am reestablishing my weekly newsletter to share thoughts, encouragement, and keep you apprised as new developments unfold.
I would love to hear from you and catch up on what has been happening in your life. Please feel free to leave a comment below and give me an update. I look forward to reconnecting.