There is no certainty; there is only adventure.
~ Roberto Assagioli ~
I love synchronicity even when it hits me right between the eyes. ::giggle::
I find myself at a crossroad of sorts. At the moment, my life is in limbo, full of uncertainty and some not so welcomed surprises. Caregiving is a never-ending adventure, that is for sure. Tackling this topic now is just what I need.
But I ALSO WANT A SURE THING, dang it! I want answers. I want assurances the plans I am making for my future are the absolute right plans and will turn out exactly the way I envision them in my head. I don’t want to have to struggle to clean them up later.
Yeah, like that is going to happen. The only sure thing in life is death and taxes (so they say).
If there is no certainty, then there is no control, even over our very own lives. And I am a recovering control freak. Yeah, I own it.
As I consider the premise — If there is no certainty in life, then my next question is — How do I cope? Brené Brown says, those people who live a wholehearted life let go of the need of certainty by trusting in their own intuition and having faith.
Intuition
What I like about Brené Brown’s research is she her remarkable real-world definitions of concepts which can be difficult to understand. Here is what she says about intuition.
Intuition is not a single way of knowing … it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty, and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.
When she says, ‘hold space’ — what does that mean? Holding space is a process of witnessing and validating our thoughts and feelings. It’s taking time to unpack various moments which might scatter and splatter us until we come to a point of understanding. When we hold space for uncertainty — we stop, consider, and draw on past experience to help us out.
However, intuition isn’t always about finding the answers from within. Sometimes, those answers simply aren’t there, and our inner wisdom tells us we need more information before making a decision. There is a point though where we have to move on without having a clear sign. This is where faith comes in.
Faith
From Brene’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection”:
Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.
Currently, I find myself in a situation I cannot possibly know all the possible outcomes. I haven’t had caregiving experience for elderly person before, so many times I am just winging it.
What I have to do is stop struggling “to know”. That doesn’t mean I quit what I am doing. Instead, it’s about letting go and trusting I have made the absolute best decisions and choices with the information I have so far. I need to believe and have faith in my own abilities to manage whatever comes my way.
Instead of spinning my wheels trying to gain certainty over situations I can’t control; I need to practice discernment in figuring out what is in my power to do. Then everything beyond that, I give over to faith.
How do I do that? First, I find a place of stillness within, this allows me to separate what is going on outside of me in order to concentrate on and listen to my instinct, recall past experiences, and make extrapolations from my knowledge base. Sometimes, in the moment, that isn’t possible. Then I opt for a quick prayer, usually modeling the Serenity Prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
We will be delving deeper into letting go of uncertainty, cultivating intuition, and trusting faith in my upcoming wholehearted living program (due to be released January 1, 2019).
Until then, please see the following journal prompts on those topics. If you feel like sharing, you can do so below in the comment section.
Journal Prompts:
- How do you define “intuition” and “faith”?
- When faced with uncertainty, what steps do you utilize to regain balance?
My thanks to Brené Brown for her extensive research on the topic of what it means to be wholehearted via her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I am using her research as a guide to further my passion to help others discover their own authenticity and embrace their own third act of life.
Note: This is the fifth article of ten in describing Wholehearted Living. You can find the first article “Cultivate Authenticity” here … the second “Cultivate Self-Compassion” here … the third “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit” here … the fourth “Cultivating Joy and Gratitude” here.