Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like its heaven on Earth.
~ Mark Twain ~
I do believe the topic of laughter, song, and dance is so appropriate to end this ten-part wholehearted living series, especially after all the preceding hard-hitting reminders about authenticity, intuition and resilient spirit. This guidepost’s power brings together the nine before it and with practice makes them completely doable.
I can’t be the only one whose life has a soundtrack attached. Almost every memory I have is somehow encased in some sort of music and the happy ones include movement/dance and end in a deep hearty belly laugh.
My earliest memory is being given a Show ‘n Tell record player which played records AND showed slides (early music video wannabe device.) I remember playing the grooves off Bobby Goldsboro’s Honey and dancing around the room like a butterfly.
Laughter, song, and dance were integral in my family. We had quick witted joke tellers, dancers (my sister danced the hula all over the country with Don Ho, I dabbled in competitive dancing) and troubadours (two of my brothers are excellent guitar players and singers.)
Brené Brown says:
Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: We are not alone.
What a beautiful definition. I was particularly struck by “we are not alone.” Meaning — we are all in this together. We celebrate and heal together. When we allow this connection and wonderful actions to take place, we push shame aside.
In my youth, there was many a day where the kids of family and friends got together and presented shows for the adults. There is an old 8mm silent video hanging around out there somewhere with a friend and me around 13 years of age doing our own rendition of “Benny and the Jets” by Elton John. My Mom always said I had absolutely no inhibitions.
Quite honestly, to this day, I laugh like there’s no tomorrow; sing even though I can’t carry a tune; and am more than willing to dance by myself. I know I am in the minority. Even though the benefits of laughing, singing, and dancing have been proven, doing these things publicly comes with a great risk. These actions make us feel vulnerable and can be a challenge for many. The easy and safe way to stay ‘in control’ is to not bring attention to ourselves by being goofy, silly, spastic, uncool, out of control, immature, stupid and foolish (which so many would consider singing and dancing to be.)
‘In control’ in this case isn’t about manipulating the situation — it’s about managing perception. While we can’t control what other people think of us, we don’t want to give them any cause to think less than, critically of us, or that we are not good enough. However, choosing to be cool over being foot loose and fancy free is tantamount to betraying ourselves and those we care about. Brené says “When we don’t give ourselves permission to be free, we rarely tolerate that freedom in others”. That is a powerful statement.
Instead of trying to present ourselves as unshakeable, polished, and composed —instead remember we are only human and are not fooling anyone. Need some reminders?
Laughter truly is the best medicine: Get playful and let go of what other people think of you. You do you. Play and laughter go hand in hand. Plan on cultivating play in your life and laughter is sure to follow.
Sing at the top of your lungs: Even if you are not blessed with a voice like Adele, singing your heart out in the shower, or the car (my favorite spot) is a great mood lifter; and if we select songs with positive messages, music and singing can be healing. How about some karaoke? I love karaoke. It’s a chance to meld song, dance, and laughter in just one performance … at least that’s what happens when I get on stage, ha!
Dancing in the streets: Just recently I was walking into a grocery store and saw two little kids (maybe about 4-5 years old) dancing to music I didn’t hear. They were putting on a little show for their Mom and I had to stop and admire their confidence. It made me smile.
Do you remember these lyrics?
It’s an invitation across the nation, a chance for folks to meet
They’ll be laughing and singing, music swinging
Dancing in the street
Put on some music while cleaning, cooking, or driving. Dare yourself to dance like no one is watching, cut a rug, and do it for the mere joy of pleasing yourself.
In my forthcoming coaching program (being released first quarter of 2019), there is a section devoted to exercises and activities which will help participants unearth their inner performer and share it with the world. Until then, please let me encourage you to laugh, sing, and dance —just for fun! Allow yourself to cut loose and practice not taking yourself so seriously. If you feel like sharing how you did that, you can do so in the comment section below.
We have come to the end of this wholehearted living series. Next week, I will share how I am using all ten guideposts to help me move through a very difficult time in my life.
By applying these wholehearted living principles, we are able to assimilate them into courage, compassion and connection which in turn translate into living a full life where know we are enough, and are worthy of love and belonging.
My thanks to Brené Brown for her extensive research on the topic of what it means to be wholehearted via her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I am using her research as a guide to further my passion to help others discover their own authenticity and embrace their own third act of life.
Note: This is the tenth and final article of ten in describing Wholehearted Living. You can find the first article “Cultivate Authenticity” here … the second “Cultivate Self-Compassion” here … the third “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit” here … the fourth “Cultivating Joy and Gratitude” here … the fifth “Cultivating Intuition” here … the sixth “Cultivating Creativity” here … the seventh “Cultivating Play and Rest” here, the eighth “Cultivating Calm” here, the ninth “Cultivating Meaningful Work” here.
My mom was a talented non-professional singer, dancer and musician. She sang while she worked and cooked, sometimes tap dancing a few steps before clicking her heels in the air. I was a semi-professional Hawaiian dancer and considered myself a Disco Queen- still do! Sing it Donna Summer, so I can do my work and I’ll join you…
Girl! We could be sisters from a different mister! My CB Radio handle used to be “Disco Kid” … ::giggle:: … those were the days, eh? So, did you live in Hawaii? How did you learn?