Cultivating Play and Rest, Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

The gift of Play is that it invites us to create without attachment, explore without a destination, and enjoy without complexity. ~ Vince Gowmon

In 1986, I took part in a personal development retreat.  Five days of intense self-actualizing education designed to challenge me to explore, question and discover my life and enrich my effectiveness.

The days were filled with what you would expect — lots of listening, writing, and introspection.  However, what I remember most is that each day we played.

At each day there was time carved out to just PLAY.  We colored, blew bubbles, danced, face painted, created stories, went on a treasure hunt, read out loud to each other… and on the very last day, we went into a big open field and flew kites.  In fact, the event ended on that note — play.

Who knew?  Evidently, they did.

What is Play?

Easy question.  The answer?  Not so much.  Even for the professionals.  ::giggle::

In Brené Brown’s chapter on play, we are introduced to Dr. Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist, clinical researcher and founder of the National Institute on play.  He says trying to define play was like trying to explain a joke; it takes all the fun out of it.  Instead, he outlined seven properties capturing the essence of play:

Purposeless: Play has no purpose, which is why many look at play as a waste of time.  Since we don’t need play to survive, gather food, or earn money, many tend to neglect its benefits.

Voluntary:  Play is something that cannot be forced to enjoy. You either do or you don’t find play fun.

Inherent Attraction:  At times, people will turn to play simply because it feels good.  It is fun, enjoyable, and cures boredom.

Freedom from Time:  The power of good play separates us from the confines of time.  It forces us to live in the moment.

Diminished Consciousness of Self:  Time isn’t the only thing we lose track of when we play.  We stop momentary and take a break from our constant thinking.  We create an alternate universe.

Improvisational Potential:  The effect of improvisation deserves an article of its own.  But suffice it to say play can be powerful in putting things into perspective and help our brains stumble upon new possibilities for all areas of our lives, whether it be personal or professional.

Continuation Desire:  Play ignites the brain’s reward center.  In so doing, play builds upon itself to keep doing it.  By exploring ways to maintain fun, even if the task at hand isn’t, we will keep doing it.

In summation, we play for the sake of play.  We do it because it’s fun and enjoyable.

Sadly, in today’s culture, our self-worth is tied to our productivity level and spending time on play sounds counterproductive.  We all have so much to do and so little time to do it, that anything unrelated to our to-do list is a panic attack waiting to happen.

Play’s Twin:  Rest

For this guidepost, Brené Brown joins play and rest together as similarities.  I found it strange until she explained why.  Living and loving with whole hearts requires us to respect our body’s need for renewal.  Both play and rest cover that need.

The same gremlins telling us we are too busy to play or it is a waste of time are the same ones whispering things like the following when we consider adding more rest into our lives.

Napping is for the lazy.
I can catch up on sleep over the weekend; get it done now.
Push through.

Truth is, we are a nation of exhausted, overworked, overstressed, and overscheduled adults raising children in our image.  Our world seems to attach badges of honor onto exhaustion and productivity.  Making the choice to cultivate more play and rest is counterculture.

However, incorporating play and rest is paramount to our well-being.  A question I am working on for my own wholehearted living practice is “When things are going well in my life, what does that look like?”  My answers include:  uninterrupted sleep (ha!), spirituality, healthy food, money under control, regular downtime, hanging out with family and friends, traveling, meaningful work, naps … and a lot of piddling around.  Piddling is another one of my words for play.

Cultivating play and rest is helps us create a wholehearted life.  Tackling either subject in a short article format is proving impossible, which is why my new program centered around Wholehearted Living (due to be released on January 1, 2019) will unpack these concepts at length helping us adopt and integrate them into our lives.

Until then, please see the following journal prompts. If you feel like sharing, you can do so in the comment section below.

Journal Prompts:

• How can play serve me?
• How can I cultivate rest?

My thanks to Brené Brown for her extensive research on the topic of what it means to be wholehearted via her book The Gifts of Imperfection.  I am using her research as a guide to further my passion to help others discover their own authenticity and embrace their own third act of life.

 Note: This is the seventh article of ten in describing Wholehearted Living.  You can find the first article “Cultivate Authenticity” here … the second “Cultivate Self-Compassion” here … the third “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit” here … the fourth “Cultivating Joy and Gratitude” here … the fifth “Cultivating Intuition” here … the sixth “Cultivating Creativity” here.