People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals … that is, goals that do not inspire them.
~ Tony Robbins ~
Sometime ago I spoke with a friend who was a very successful businessman. At some point I asked, “What drove you to be successful? Was it the money? Traveling around the world? What?” He momentarily looked stern and contemplatively; then he smiled and answered, “I didn’t want to displease dad!” That was his motivation. That was what floats HIS boat! Amazing, isn’t it, what motivates us.
Consider for a moment: What drives you to do what you do? What is your motivation? What floats your boat?
Motivation
How is motivation defined?
Motivation: n – the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and the condition of being motivated.
Let’s break this down.
Action Toward a Desired Goal: For us to take action we must have decided upon a goal we want to pursue. Thus we need to become crystal clear on what we want by answering the question – What is my goal?
IF the simple answer is, ‘I want to drop 20 pounds’ – then why isn’t it simple to accomplish? Perhaps that has been your goal for many years now.
In order to become crystal clear on your desired goal and to determine the actions required to achieve it, and garnering the motivation to back it up, then perhaps a better question would be…
‘WHY do I REALLY want to drop 20 pounds?’
Spend time contemplating the ‘WHY’ part of your question. This crucial component of ‘Why’ establishes the foundation of your motivation.
While thinking about the WHY good; writing about it sparks the real power in reaching that crystal clarity you seek.
During the physical process of writing your goal, be aware of your emotions; are they stirring? Are you feeling compelled to kick yourself in gear and break bad habits? These types of emotions will catapult you to make the critical life changes to reach your goal.
If you are not feeling it, then return once again to the ‘WHY’ part of your question. Keep writing until you can hone in on the true reasons for this action.
Something else to consider is: Is your natural motivation toward pleasure or away from pain? For example:
Towards Pleasure:
By the end of the summer, I want to look good in that cute little polka dot dress
Away from pain:
I don’t want to be a diabetic and give myself a shot every day.
The trick is to find out which one you are. Don’t spend too much time on this; there is no right or wrong answer – you are either one or the other. While you may have a bit of both; one will be predominant. The writing process will be continue to be an invaluable asset.
Once you narrow it down, answer the questions below and you will be one step closer to clarifying your goals.
That Which Gives Purpose: This is at the heart of the WHY question and your wanting to weigh a certain number on the scale. Ask yourself: How will your life be better if you get to that weight? Use your imagination. Picture how your life will be better. What does that look like?
Towards Pleasure
- What will you be doing? Who will you be doing it with?
- Where will you be?
- How will you feel when your there?
- What clothes will you be wearing or not wearing?
Away From Pain
- If your goal is not achieved, what will be missing in your life?
- What opportunities will be lost? The ability to enjoy healthy time with your family late into your life? Will it mean you continue to go out to restaurants and take vacations by yourself?
- How will your health deteriorate by not getting closer to goal?
- What does the hospital room look like where you will have to go for dialysis treatments?
- How long will it take to recover from a kidney transplant?
This exercise will provide a compelling picture of your life getting better if you get thinner or worse if you don’t. Cultivate this picture in your mind and it will give you a clear sense of purpose. Then you can outline the necessary actions needed to get there.
On an index card, write down your goal and action items. Place it by your bed, or tape it to the bathroom mirror for easy reference. Every morning and every night, read them reminding yourself why you need to take daily action, the payoff, and the cost if you don’t. This cements and integrates the goal’s importance; why it is imperative your reach it; and motivates you to achieve it.
By doing this exercise, you will discover what floats your boat and what will keep you motivated to make life changes. Remember, every journey begins with the first step.
Consider this Chinese proverb:
“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
My question to you readers – What floats your boat? Are you motivated towards pleasure or away from pain?